Yesterday I wrote about questions you can use for keeping the conversation going. If you follow my advice, your referral source meetings will be filled with the other person doing most of the talking. You won’t get much of a chance to get a word in.
Some of you will be deeply bothered by that thought. You want to talk. You want your chance to shine. You’re probably an extrovert.
Shining, however, might not be the best thing you can do if you want referrals.
I heard a great line at a marketing conference a few years ago that I think is one of the great truths of marketing.
“An interested introvert can build better relationships than an interesting extrovert.”
And building relationships is what it’s all about. Good relationships generate a steady stream of referrals.
Sadly it can be tough to get an introvert to take action to meet people so they can build those relationships. The hardest part of the process, for introverts, is taking the first step. If they can get themselves going, they’re often surprised to find that they generate more referrals than their extroverted counterparts.
Why? Because people like interested people more than interesting people. We love people that express interest in us. We feel special. We feel loved.
My hope is that more introverts will pick up the phone and schedule a coffee or lunch with an old law school classmate or someone they met in the bar review course. Maybe they’ll call someone they met at a recent continuing education course or at a bar association meeting.
And you extroverts should take a lesson from the introverts. Be interested. Get over your need to be a big part of the conversation. Let your guest talk. That’s the shortest path to generating the referrals you need to grow your practice.
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Lee Rosen has practiced family law for more than twenty years. With three offices, 
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First that cartoon is so incorrect; introverts don’t hate people. And we aren’t shy. We just are guarded about our time with others because that outward activity can drain us of personal energy.
Second, I think what might be truer than your saying, “The hardest part of the process [meeting people], for introverts, is taking the first step,” is that it’s hard for introverts to take the same first step as someone more extroverted might take. In meeting people, an introvert will typically analyze the situation, possibly find out more about the other person through other connections. We’ll take those NEXT steps that you identified, after these steps.
Patricia Weber
Business Coach for Introverts
Patricia,
Thanks for your input. Sounds like you know introverts inside and out.
Lee
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