I went to see comedian Lewis Black tonight. He was hysterical.

He started off his show with a disclaimer.

He said, “Nothing is going to change tonight. Nothing I say is going to make any difference at all. You’re going to wake up in the same river of shit tomorrow morning that you’re in today.”

That’s a line I’d like to use at initial consultations.

Why? Because clients believe that we’re going to clean up their mistakes, fix their problems, and make them happy.

We’re not. They created their own “river of shit,” and we can’t change it. Sure, we can fix their marital status, but that’s not what’s going to make them happy. Life is far more complicated than they sometimes choose to believe.

We deliver solutions to legal problems. We don’t deliver happiness.

Lewis Black disclaimed all responsibility for making a difference. He was off the hook at that point. The ranting commenced. He was free to say what he thinks and not worry about the impact.

You can apply the same sort of disclaimer in your practice. It’s incredibly freeing, and it relieves you of a great deal of the psychological responsibility for your clients.

Tell them up front that you can’t make them less miserable. Explain that you can only resolve the legal issues. Tell them it’s up to them to make themselves happy. We don’t offer that service.

Don’t stop there. Talk about the money too. You know they’re going to be upset about the cost of the services. Deal with it now.

Explain that they’re going to spend far more money than they’d like. Tell them that you didn’t create this mess, and fixing it is going to be ridiculously expensive. Feel free to explain that their lives won’t be any better when this is over: they’ll still be miserable if that’s the choice they make. You can explain that happy people make their lives happy and that you don’t have anything to do with it.

Will they run from your office screaming? Will they hire someone else who lies to them?

No, in my experience they appreciate the honesty. They’re happy that you’re shooting straight with them. They’re more likely to hire you, not less.

Give it a try. What do you have to lose? One client? One client with wildly unrealistic expectations?

Lewis Black said it and, shockingly, not a single person in the crowd of several thousand got up and walked out. We sat there for two hours laughing so hard that it hurt.

Try it; you’ll like it. You’ll feel better. They’ll know you aren’t trying to sell them a bill of goods, and you’ll have a client with realistic expectations who knows you can only do what you can do.