Get Your Lunch Invite Voicemails Returned

“I’d like to take more people to lunch, but I can’t get my calls returned,” said the lawyer explaining why he hadn’t been out to many lunches lately with prospective referral sources.

Here’s the deal:

He’s calling all kinds of lawyers and leaving these voicemails.

Here’s my imagination of what he’s saying in his messages:

This is Bob Jones. I’m a lawyer. I’d like to take you to lunch and make you feel obligated to refer to me. I’d like to talk your ear off about how wonderful I am and why you’d be so lucky to know me and send me clients. Call me back and we’ll schedule it. Thanks.

Bob, please–seriously—shut up. Stop. Stop. Stop. You sound like the sales guy from the copier company. What’s next? Bob? Are you going to offer them a discount on lunch if they buy this week? Are you Bob?

How about this message instead?

This is Bob Jones. I’m a lawyer. Please return my call at 555-555-5555.

What’s going to happen? This time you’re going to get a return call.

Try it. It works. I do it all the time, and so do the lawyers who’ve taken my networking course.

Why does it work?

  1. Lawyers, and they’re usually the folks who won’t return calls, return calls when they don’t know what’s up. They wonder whether you’re going to refer to them. They wonder whether you’re opposing counsel in a case they’re handling. They wonder whether you’re representing a former client who’s about to sue them. Saying you’re a lawyer tweaks their curiosity/paranoia/interest. They’ll call.
  2. Everyone, other than lawyers, will call you back for the same reasons, but most of them would call you back anyway. But still, it gets you put at the top of the list. Just do it.
  3. It’s an open loop. Everyone wonders why they got a message. It pulls us until we understand it. When you explain it away by telling us too much, you kill our curiosity, and we don’t bother to call. When we’re wondering, we’re calling you back. Leave it vague.

What happens when they return the call and find out you’re not coming after them, suing them, or planning to make their lives miserable? What happens when they discover, much to their relief, that you’d just like to take them to a nice relaxing lunch in a nice place where they can make a new friend? They’re going to be thrilled. They’re going to say yes. They’re going to book lunch with you.

Leave your message. Book your lunch. Have fun.

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