Are You a Moocher? A Taker? A Leech?

Publishing this material each day earns me a bunch of e-mail in my inbox. I’m okay with that. It’s usually pretty interesting. Some people love me, some hate me, and some are offering to sell me stuff. It’s all good.

Much of the e-mail I get comes from other lawyers. Most of it falls into two broad categories.

1. The Givers

First, there are the giving e-mails.

These lawyers write to offer help, such as:

  • “I found this typo on your blog.”
  • “This link on your site is broken. Here’s the correct link.”
  • “I just wanted to let you know that I called your office, pressed 4, and it didn’t go to the right extension.”
  • “I met a great young lawyer whom I think would be a good fit for your firm.”

Sometimes these givers offer me ideas for upcoming articles. I love those folks, and I encourage you to do the same. I need all the ideas I can get. After nearly 2,000 articles, the well sometimes runs a little dry.

2. The Takers

Then there are the other kinds of e-mails I get. These are the taking e-mails.

These lawyers write to me and ask for help.

  • “Do you have any ideas for me about ______ ?”
  • “Would you be willing to refer cases to me when ______?”
  • “Can you give me feedback about ________?”

Choosing a Side

There’s a pretty clear split between the givers and the takers.

Whom do I like more? Whom do I trust more? Whom would I likely refer business to first?

The giver/taker split isn’t just in my e-mail box. It’s something you see everywhere you go with everything you do. You know the givers, and you know the takers. Whom do you like more? Trust more? Refer to more often?

It’s imperative that if you want good things to happen, you tend toward being a “giver.” Giving pays off. Taking turns off. You turn off your e-mail correspondents, lunch dates, and referral sources.

Taking is fine. It’s something you can do once you’ve built a relationship. It’s something you can harvest once you’ve sowed your fields.

Being a “taker” turns people away. It diminishes you. It damages your reputation for the long term. Be a giver. Feel free to start by sending those article ideas. You can reach me here.

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